Marc Schulz, psychologist and director of the world’s longest-running happiness study, has a clear message:
“A good life isn’t about luck—how we choose to connect.”
In 1938, Harvard University launched a surprising project as the world stood on the brink of war. Its ambitious goal was to understand what makes a human life meaningful and fulfilling.
To do this, researchers followed two groups: Harvard students (including a young John F. Kennedy) and boys from Boston’s poorest neighborhoods.
More than 80 years later, the study now spans three generations and includes over 1,300 descendants of the original participants. Researchers don’t just track medical data—they look at life satisfaction, emotions, and whether people feel their lives have meaning.
The Most Striking Finding: The Heart of Happiness Is Relationships
Schulz and his colleague Robert Waldinger came to one clear conclusion:
“The most consistent predictor of lifelong health, happiness, and fulfillment is strong, healthy relationships.”
People change. Technology evolves. The world spins faster than ever.
But our core needs stay the same: to connect, to be loved, to be seen, to share.
What Is Happiness—And What Is It Not?
Schulz says happiness is measurable and has three main components:
- Life satisfaction – How content are you with your life overall?
- Daily emotions – What do you feel most days?
- Meaning and purpose – Does your life feel meaningful?
And a key reminder:
“Happiness doesn’t mean feeling good all the time. What matters is whether your life feels fulfilling overall.”
Also, happiness doesn’t come from endless success or wealth. Once your basic needs are met, more money has a limited effect.
Why? Because we tend to keep moving the goalposts—a phenomenon known as the “hedonic treadmill.”
So, What Bring Happiness? Once Again: Human Connection
Family. Friends. Romantic partners. Colleagues.
All these relationships are the foundation of a good life.
However, according to Schulz, people who chase money or success often neglect their relationships. Society doesn’t help either:
“We’re constantly told that happiness comes from performance, success, and status. So we put off our relationships until ‘later.’ But sometimes, that later never comes.”
Staying Socially Fit: What Is ‘Social Fitness’?
Just like our physical health, our social health needs attention.
Schulz calls this “social fitness.” And he has three simple tips to improve it:
- Prioritize your relationships: Make time for people. Let them know they matter.
- Be present: Put down your phone. Really listen. Ask questions. Be curious.
- Be consistent: A weekly coffee, a regular walk, a monthly dinner—consistency builds depth.
Schulz and Waldinger have met every Friday for 30 years.
“It started as a work meeting. It became a real friendship,” says Schulz.
But What If I’m Too Late?
Think it’s too late to change? Think again.
Schulz tells the story of a man in his 60s who had lived a disconnected life.
“He told us for 40 years he had no friends. After retiring, he left an unfulfilling marriage and began going to the gym daily. He saw familiar faces. Conversations began. Over time, friendships grew. By his late 60s, he said, ‘Yes, I have friends.’ And his life transformed.”
A Good Life Is Built on Choices
You don’t need miracles to transform your life—just small, consistent steps.
“A good life isn’t a matter of chance—it’s about the relationships we choose to nurture,” Schulz says.
Call someone. Show up. Send a short message.
Small actions can make a significant impact. Because happiness isn’t a distant goal—it’s a way of living that blossoms through connection.
📖 Book recommendation: The Good Life by Marc Schulz & Robert Waldinger
No comments:
Post a Comment